Last year, I went to Raphael House in San Francisco, a homeless shelter for families. I am part of a volunteer group that raises funds for homeless children to buy school clothes as well as awareness in the community. We watched a video at the Raphael House compiled of clips showing the lives of homeless children and the ways they interpret and respond to their situations. One boy of eleven compared his life to a game of chess; he said "one wrong move and you could lose everything," deep thought for a fourth grader. He spoke about how he has been homeless for the last five years. That's almost half his life. I can only imagine how transferring between schools, moving around, and not knowing where his next meal would come from could affect a person. His attitude, as well as those of the other children, was optimistic and strong. When faced with hardships, we can act in countless ways, a majority of them being not beneficial, or even ruinous. This young boy has somehow found a way to adapt to his family's lifestyle, with strength and much intellect. While most look down upon the homeless, or anyone out of place in society, I can only aspire to have character such as this kid.

Rain

As I sat in the passenger seat of my boyfriend's car this weekend, I asked why he wasn't using the windshield wipers. He told me he was thinking about the way our brains are able to see past these droplets of water and complete an image, despite our only seeing a percentage of the scene. We often take for granted these incredible abilities, as well as others that exist within us. People are quick to wipe away their talents, for whatever reason, may it be that others won't approve or that they just don't consider them to be special, and this is truly unfortunate. If we all noticed something about ourselves, and held on to it, and used a talent unique only to us in order to create a stronger character or benefit another person, we would all be in a better place. If we noticed the things we tend to ignore, we could appreciate life that much more.

Sand Art

It's incredible, the emotions we can evoke through art. It's equally incredible that one can be so passionate in creating it. In this video, a woman creates piece after piece using only sand. She has disciplined herself in timing and is completely involved in her work, while she throws sand with great emotion. It is inspiring to see such a talented woman being properly appreciated by a teary eyed audience. She controls their feelings with every movement of her hand and uses that power to create a beautiful moment. In relation to Heart of Darkness, this is what some of us are capable of, under the right circumstances.

In Reflection of the Quotation, "Become who you are":

We are born as infants, canvases,
with a lack of character or personality.
Without morals, values, or individuality,
we step into the world with paths to choose.
We decide who we are, through trial and error,
and we become who we are
through determination and drive.
It's not easy creating yourself,
but you certainly must try,
or else someone will do it for you.

Book

I recently heard on the radio, an author speaking about his latest book. He said that when he began, he couldn't write a novel, but he could write one page a day. This is what life is about. We often try to expect everything to happen automatically, especially in our "balloon generation" as described by Urban Dictionary as the generation who "expects awards and balloons for minimal amounts of work," as well as with growing technology to increase the efficiency of all possible. We try to accomplish huge tasks without patience, and we fail to see the option of doing so one "page" at a time. If life were a book, it is important to acknowledge every little word and letter, for some day the book will end, and we'll have just our moments to look back on.

From Senior Year

It is a new feeling that has spread among seniors like a pandemic. This college process brings about all sorts of thoughts that we previously never had to think about, and along with it all comes emotions (and lots of them). While I am probably a more emotion-oriented person than most, I can't believe how many this process has brought about. I have lived most of my life away from loved ones, my parents being divorced and living far away from each other, so I never thought moving away for college would be difficult. Yet on the plane to Pennsylvania during spring break, I must admit to a rush of anxiety filling my mind and consuming every earlier assumption that this would be easy, like a hungry kid with cake and a sweet tooth. Nevertheless, the emotional drawback proved in the end that we are never truly invincible when it comes to life's changes. Instead of defaulting to my second choice of attending Lewis and Clark, I decided that pushing myself is usually the best approach, and this way I will learn more about myself than I would staying close to home. So in conclusion, I'd like to commend this process, despite its tiring and frustrating qualities, for allowing us all to discover ourselves a little more.

P.S. I will soon be an official Allegheny Gator, as soon as I take the leap!

An Entry From Highschool

Today we stood along the 17-yard line on the BHS football field. Surrounding us were underclassmen circling the track like we did two years ago. Seeing our lives ahead of us, the whole 73 yards, made me see the important things in life. We can't worry about the little things; they only amount to a few inches of grass. I want to look back on my life, though, knowing that on every dash I did something great--I achieved something significant or impacted someone's life. I can't wait to read Siddhartha and see what kind of book inspired this activity.

A Poem

I was sitting as T.A. in an English class as they discussed the next book they are going to read. In preparation, the teacher created an assignment prompting her students to write a poem about a person who has influenced their lives, in good ways or bad. I had nothing else to do, so I began to write.

Through your destruction,
I learned to grow.
I learned to put on a face when that was the last thing I wanted to do.
Through your destruction,
I was destroyed.
My heart broken no more than it was torn
by the clashing decisions about when to give up,
if I haven't already.
Through your destruction,
I built myself up again.
I distinguished between those who would help me through it
and those like you.
I made choices for myself about my future,
about the person I want to be;
choices about how to deal with the present, move on, stay still,
overcome the past.
Through your destruction,
I first learned to love, to ignore the hard times.
I learned how not to hate, how to settle.
Don't get these confused;
they are very different.

Carpe Diem

We spoke of carpe diem in AP Literature, and I realized another way to seize the day is through photography. With a click, one can capture a moment in time that will pass instantly and be, from then on, unattainable. To seize the day is to seize the moment; we often are too rushed to appreciate the small things in life. We pass by a flower without seeing its petals or another person without acknowledging their presence. To capture a moment is to notice the value a single object can have.

Someone I Met in Tennessee

In AP Literature we presented sonnets; I was in Tennessee on my group's presentation day, but I was there in its preparation. The sonnet proved Shakespeare's talent in creating multiple meanings in a work of literature. It seems as if each sentence he writes holds a contradiction, and he wants the reader to pick apart each word to get deeper insight.
In Tennessee, I noticed the differences two cultures within a culture can really have. I also saw the similarities between the state and my mother's town. I also decided I don't want to live in Tennessee (at least not until I'm 21, since until then, there will be nothing for me to do).
Being there with certain members of my family also reinforced the importance of knowledge and experience. It is truly noticeable, the difference between an intelligent person and one that's not so. I met a friend of my cousin's who has been all over the world, even in his youth. He told me to skip vacations to Europe and go somewhere in East Asia. There, he said, he went without any plans beyond flights and had one of the best weeks of his life. It inspired me to think about the benefits of all this hard work we do in school, and that if the opportunity is taken, it will all be worth it.

Life's Graph

It seems as if many things are exponential. A problem, for example, can worsen more and more as time goes on. A person's actions can lead to another's, which often continues to happen endlessly. Hamlet's madness and inability to decide what to do increases throughout the play, as does the complexity of the number of people involved. Ophelia's love of Hamlet becomes greater suddenly in the play, as such happens in life, too. Friendships become stronger at an exponential rate, and these seem to be the best kind. I feel like I'm rambling about this, but I've noticed lately how life is so sudden and so often exponential, for better or worse. Hamlet is an example of this, and if you look around there are more all the time.

An Issue of Law

As I've begun taking notes on law for my essay, I have been drawn to the moral side of the law and how it affects the choices people of a society make. In Antigone, Creon's son shares the ideas of his father, but he tells the king not to act so godly and to accept others' thoughts and opinions. At first Creon is happy to have such an obedient son, since that's the respectable way to be. But, this "respect" also encourages closed thinking. If the son is led to think the way his father thinks and such happens for generations, no new ideas are created and no one has an individual opinion. The same happens as an effect of law; when something is widely accepted and never challenged, everyone will think the same way. Law therefore naturally creates monotonous thought and should be challenged whenever seen necessary in order to preserve diverse opinion.

"If"

Rudyard Kipling created an inspiring work of literature called "If," which was this week's poem of the week. The poem tells how to be the best person one can be, and the advice given has always in my life been proven true. Some of the greatest qualities in a person shine when he or she is faced with an unpleasant situation. To be truthful when others are lying, to be loving when others have hatred, and to be calm amongst chaos are accomplishments deserving of great respect. We often forget these guidelines when dealing with hardships, or we even choose to ignore them because of their difficulty in performing; but Kipling believes that if we can do such tasks, we can be the best versions of ourselves.
I want to be able to follow Kipling's words in my next big decision, or even my next small one, since these are often the most important.